ARE THEY COMPLETELY SELF-OBSESSED?

If all the conversations are directed towards them, and they never ask you about your interests, experiences or feelings, there’s really no room for you in this relationship, is there?

ARE THEY HONEST PEOPLE?

Learn to recognize and be sensitive to honesty. Is this person telling the truth? Little white lies can seem harmless at first, but they can easily turn into bigger fibs, and ultimately, betrayal.

ARE THEY MANIPULATIVE?

Narcissists may not be easy to spot at first, but if they insist on always having it their way, are never open to seeing things from their perspective and punish you for defying them, run.

ARE THEY EMPATHETIC?

Can they focus on you and sympathise with your experiences, needs and feelings (positive or negative), or do they just turn the conversation right back to them?

WHAT ARE THEIR VICES?

Lots of people like to party but addiction can be a slippery slope. If this person is constantly wasted, or always needs to be high to have a good time, they’re likely going to drag you down with them.

WHO ARE THEIR CLOSEST FRIENDS?

They say that you’re the average sum of the three people you hang out with most, so if their closest friends are not exactly wonderful people, it says a lot about the person you’re dating too.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO YOUR OWN FRIENDS?

A key sign of an abusive relationship is that your partner tries to keep you away from others, including your own friends and family. If the person you’re dating is overly controlling and possessive person, and reacts negatively to you spending time away from them alone, that’s a big red flag.

HOW DID THEY PROCESS KEY NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES IN THEIR LIFE?

If a guy or a girl has a string of ‘crazy exes’, always paints themselves as the victim, and can’t let bygones be bygones, even after years have gone by, that’s also a huge red flag.

WHAT ARE THEIR VALUES?

A difference of opinion is one thing, but if this person doesn’t share your values, it’s a dead end from the get-go.

SHOULD THEY BE IN THERAPY?

There’s no shame in having been wounded by bad experiences in life, but it’s important to seek help. If you recognise signs of emotional or psychological trauma but the person you’re dating is not willing to do anything about it, you’re going to be the one who has to pick up the pieces.