First dates can be as nerve-wracking as they are thrilling, but it’s safe to say that warming up at the very start of a first date can be downright tough. You want to put your best foot forward but also be yourself. Here are some tips to help achieve that balance.
1. Be open to disagreeing
One of the worst things you can do on a first date is be 100% agreeable. Not only does it make conversation a little boring – especially if you’re only just getting to know someone – but it will also hide parts of your nature which you simply shouldn’t hide. Don’t be aggressive, but don’t agree with everything just for the sake of wanting to look good.
2. Don’t hide your quirks
Your quirks may be the very thing that you and your date bond over, or what makes them run for the hills. Either way, it’s good for them to know from the start what you like, what you enjoy doing in your down time, and even what makes you tick. That way, there are no unexpected surprises down the line if you continue into a relationship.
3. Choose an activity or venue that you’re comfortable with
If you’re not a sporty person and your date suggests attending a live sporting event or playing a round of tennis, you’re likely to feel out of your comfort zone from the get go, and that doesn’t bode well for an enjoyable first date. Take the lead and suggest a neutral activity and location – a restaurant is always a safe choice, and you might end up discovering a mutual love for food in the process.
4. Don’t feel the need to talk all the time
Gaps of silence occur between couples all the time, whether it’s on a first date, three months into dating or in marriage. Resist the urge to talk all the time just to fill that silence – conversation is a two-way street, and moments of silence can be a good way to suss out whether your date is a talker, a listener, a confident person or simply shy.
5. Don’t make the date the most important thing of your day
Remember how stressful exam days were, when all you’re able to think about that day is the exam and nothing else? Don’t let a first date stress you out in the same way, as if you’re walking right into a test or a trap. Go about your day as you normally would, being your usual productive self. And if you happen to have nothing to do that day, invent something to do – it could be fodder for conversation for your date later on.
6. Avoid lies, big and small
The feeling you get on your first date may be a good indicator of whether or not it can go somewhere with this person (but it takes more than one date to know for sure, so don’t jump to conclusions too early). Either way, lying about your life, your hobbies, your lifestyle, your taste in films and anything else you may end up talking about should be avoided, no matter how big or small – if it ends up going anywhere, you’ll be found out later on, and that doesn’t foster trust. Be honest, or try to change the conversation altogether if you don’t want to talk about it.