1. Just having THE conversation
You’ve been together for 2, 3, 4 or 10 years. You know this is the person you want to be with: you’ve seen them in their PJs, stuffing their face with ice-cream; panda-eyed in the morning, after a late-night out; and you’ve been with them through many highs and lows. Why make a big deal of it then? Many couples forgo formalities and just ‘decide’. Don’t fall into that trap. The proposal will only ever come once, so make it special and make it all about her. Don’t take each other for granted and show her how important this moment is in the history of your relationship.
2. Forgetting the ring – and not doing your research!
An essential element of the proposal, and of making it special, is the ring! Many women don’t even feel they’re engaged before they have one on their finger so do some thinking about when and where to get it. You will need to also think about what type of ring she would like: should the deal be sealed with a diamond? Or would she prefer a ruby? You don’t need to simply go for the conventional. Rather, think about her likes and dislikes, as well as her personality, and select a band which is all about her.
3. Not thinking about what she wants
Is she the shy type and does she get embarrassed in social situations, when all eyes are upon her? Or does she prefer to rock on at the wildest parties, with without a care in the world? When designing your proposal, make sure you think about what she would want and what she would be comfortable with. Chances are she’s already left you loads of hints – you just have to listen or watch out for them!
4. Embarrassing her
Linked to the above, but this is so important we feel the need to underline it! Whatever you plan, make sure you do not make her feel uncomfortable. Don’t propose in public, if you can avoid it, for example. Despite the million-plus hit YouTube videos showing couples displaying their love for all and sundry to see, this is not for most. Keep it subtle, keep it special and, above all, keep it enjoyable – for the both of you.
5. Booking a photographer or videographer
Even though some people actually advise hiring someone to mark the occasion through images or video, this is supposed to be a special moment for the both of you. While you might want to capture every moment, for future posterity, it will be very annoying to have someone interrupting your privacy. Some things are best committed to memory – this is one of them.
6. Overcomplicating it
You’ve hired a band, arranged for 20 doves to be released into the skies and for an acrobat to skip and jump in celebration. Wait, what? Take it down a few notches! We know this is a special occasion, but you must avoid the temptation to go overboard. Simple is oftentimes best and if you just have a think about what your loved one would prepare, then you have no worries at all. And, fewer expenses.
7. Spilling the beans before the proposal!
We know you’re excited but hold your horses! Don’t start blabbing to all your mates, your family and that second cousin whom you only meet once a year. While we know it’s almost nigh impossible to keep such a great occasion completely to yourself, that does not mean you should start to let everyone know before the actual proposal! The island is small and such talk can easily get to her and ruin the surprise.
8. No after plans
You’ve just gotten engaged and you’ve got no plans? No way to mark the occasion and savour the afterglow of one of the most important moments in your life? That will not do! Planning the proposal also means organising how you will be marking this occasion (and an engagement party, with all your friends and family is not what we’re thinking). This should be something intimate – a celebration during which you can settle back and bask in the knowledge of happy times to come.