Bad Bridesmaids & How to Handle Them

The whiney one, the diva, the critic, the one that’s impossible to please – what became of the women you loved so much that you chose them to be your bridesmaids? Sometimes, weddings have a way of bringing out a different side of people – perhaps it’s got something to do with the fact that you’ve made them responsible for something, like planning your bachelorette or made them wear something they don’t like. Whatever the reason, don’t stress. We’ve decoded some of the weirdest bridesmaid behaviour, with suggestions on how to keep the peace.

The Diva

This is the kind of person who tries to makes everything seem like a big deal. The length of her dress, style of her hair, colour of nail polish, or even the location of the wedding itself. She might start out as being cooperative, but for some reason or other, things turn sour and she no longer appears willing to do her bit.

Solution: She could be acting out as a result of feeling jealous, especially if you’re younger than her and she’s nowhere close to getting hitched. Find her alone and try have a heart-to-heart with her. Tell her you’ve noticed she’s been acting strange recently, so that by acknowledging her feelings, she might be willing to say what’s wrong.

The First-timer

So you’ve asked her to be your bridesmaid, and she’s willingly accepted, but from that day on, she’s barely made herself available or got herself involved in preparations and events, seemingly acting disinterested and distant.

Solution: This might be because your bridesmaid is completely clueless, because this is her first time acting as a bridesmaid to a close friend or family member. Don’t hold it against her if she’s not getting involved much, you probably didn’t know much about wedding planning either before you were a bridesmaid for the very first time. Take the humorous route and supply her with a book on how to be the best bridesmaid, or pair her with one of the more experienced maids in your bridal party for a bit of guidance.

The One with Lots of Advice

You may have appointed a bridesmaid who was recently a bride herself, in which case, she might always be ready to offer unsolicited advice: lots of ‘should have’, ‘cannot’, ‘do not’ and ‘when I got married…’ statements, which are driving you up the wall.

Solution: Most of her advice is likely to be well-meaning, and she might actually hand you a useful tip or two, but be firm in your decisions if she tries to impose her wedding advice on you which you simply do not agree with. And try be nice about it – give her the reason behind your choices if need be, and if she persists, ignore her. She’ll give up eventually.

The Odd One Out

Four out of five bridesmaids might be close family and/or dear childhood friends. The fifth bridesmaid might be a new friend or co-worker, who doesn’t really know the rest of your bridal party, so she distances herself from the pack, and prefers to be uninvolved in wedding planning and preparations.

Solution: She obviously feels uncomfortable and the odd one out, and so prefers taking a back seat rather than asserting herself among your friends who are close and familiar with each other. Gather the girls and tell them to make an extra effort to make her feel welcome, by asking for her opinion and involving her in jokes and discussions. If she refuses to mingle and continues to look sullen, ask her whether she’d rather not be in the bridal party at all – that way it will save you the extra hassle and expense, and relieve her of doing something she simply doesn’t feel happy doing.