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History of the Maltese Wedding I: Courtship

Meeting someone, dating and getting married in Malta nowadays happens in a very similar way to the rest of Europe and the west. However, there are many Maltese customs and traditions associated with the process of marriage, from courtship to exchanging vows and on to married life, which have since been phased out or lost to history.

“Maltese men and women live, meet and marry in a much freer environment now,” says Guido Lanfranco, the foremost expert on Maltese folklore and traditions. “In the past, young women were especially sheltered, although arranged marriages were common and in the Middle Ages, girls as young as 12 or 13 could be married off without their consent.”

“Young unmarried women dressed very modestly and rarely left the house, except to go to mass with their family, and for a few important feasts throughout the year such as the Imnarja in Rabat and Buskett, and San Girgor in Zejtun and Marsaxlokk. Even then though, they would be accompanied by their extended family. Many people ended up never getting married simply because the family influence and overprotection was so stifling,” Mr Lanfranco says.

The only way to meet a man would be to spend a lot of time on the balcony, hoping to catch the eye of an attractive fellow. If the girl was of marriageable age, her parents could give her prospects a helping hand by putting a plant in the balcony where she would spend so many hours. “It would tell you that there was an ‘available’ girl in that home,” Mr Lanfranco writes, in his study of local customs Zwieg, Twelid u Mewt (Marriage, Birth and Death). “They could also put out a spindle or a loom to show that she was hardworking and diligent.” The number of plants and implements could be varied according to how many eligible ladies there were in the household.

Girls could also use their advantageous point on the balcony to practice their singing, especially in short quatrains. They could sing about love, and a witty passer-by could respond in kind (spirtu pront). “If you weren’t lyrically sharp or musically talented, it wasn’t a problem – you could get a man who was talented with the guitar or mandolin to serenade your would-be girlfriend for you,” Mr Lanfranco explains.

If the combination of plants, tools and singing proved to be fortuitous, the lad would enlist the help of a huttab (matchmaker) in his wooing efforts. “The huttab would be someone who knows everyone,” says Mr Lanfranco. “They’d act as a go-between between the boy and the girl – they’d talk them up and say how rich, attractive, hardworking and kind they were. And they’d also assure the family that there were no hidden ailments in the family – back in those days, they were terrified of mental illness far more than they were of physical sickness. If both parties were interested, the matchmaker would then arrange a meeting between the two families, where they could discuss and negotiate the terms of a potential match.”

Next in the series: An old-fashioned engagement