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History of the Maltese Wedding II – Engagement 

While we refer to the period after the courtship between the wedding proposal and the wedding as ‘engagement’, this is a relatively recent introduction to Maltese wedding culture. Before the English word engagement (or l-engage, as many Maltese refer to it) came into popular use on the islands, this time was known as ir-rabta. The groom-to-be and his family would enter the bride-to-be’s family home for the first time. “The occasion would also known as it-turija (the showing) because the bride-to-be would present herself – but nothing else!” writes Guido Lanfranco in his study of local customs Zwieg, Twelid u Mewt (Marriage, Birth and Death). “The two betrothed would still not be allowed to talk to each other privately or even hold hands during this time. The two sets of in-laws would be present at all times.”

Parents who were passing on a significant dowry to their daughter in the form of property, or a prospective groom with assets to protect would bring a notary along to the rabta to finalise the arrangement in a contract which would also include the date of the wedding and all the assets that the couple would be bringing to the union. Feasts such as l-Imnarja, San Gwann and San Girgor were held in such high regard at the time that the contract would also stipulate that the husband would have to take his wife to special feasts every year once they were wed.

An unusual custom worth noting is the exchange that would take place on such an occasion. From the nineteenth century until the mid-twentieth century, the fiancé would often present his fiancée with a ring shaped like two hands holding each other, while the fiancée would present her intended with a handkerchief woven and embroidered by her own hand, often depicting figures or objects that represented her. After the exchange took place, the two families would sit down for dinner together. And while it’s common nowadays for an engagement to last several years, the two betrothed could be set to wed as soon as two or three weeks after the rabta.

Next in the series: A traditional Maltese wedding