Six Things you Can’t say to your Maltese In-laws

1. “My dad makes the best imqarrun!”

Just as you’re shovelling a forkful of baked pasta lovingly prepared by your father-in-law into your mouth, you come out with this tactless proclamation. Even if your dad is a Michelin-starred chef and your kunjatu could burn water, do your best not to make insulting comparisons to his face – especially when it comes to food!

2. “Your son/daughter is such a [insert personal flaw here]!”

Nobody’s perfect. Maybe your husband can be a bit of a slob. Maybe your wife never turns the lights off when she leaves the room. These are acceptable things to point out to them, if they’re really bothering you. Saying “Pete is such a traskurat” to Pete’s mum, even if you’re half-joking, will only cause her to see red. It’s a reflection of her skills as a parent after all and she will probably (definitely) not take kindly to it.

3. “That’s not how we do that in my family.”

From raising children to decorating the Christmas tree, every family has their own particular way of doing things, and being rigid won’t win you any friends. Bringing your own experience and ideas to the table is great, but trying to have your way at all costs all the time – especially when it’s something relatively petty – will just cause tension on all sides.

4. “I love having you as a free babysitter!”

While it’s true that Maltese grandparents dote on their children’s children and love spending time with them, don’t be greedy. Your in-laws have their own life to live as much as you do. Even if they don’t go out very often, looking after your young children for you all the time can be very tiring. Be grateful but more importantly, be considerate.

5. “I don’t need your help.”

You may not like your in-laws’ ways of doing things, or simply feel capable of doing a good or better job yourself. However, refusing all offers of help will make you seem cold and arrogant, and your in-laws want to be part of your life – don’t forget you’re married to their child now. Most of the time, it’s easier and less stressful to just graciously accept their assistance, whether you need it or not.

6. “Tindahalx.”

Relationships with your in-laws can be tricky, and when they’re being particularly overbearing, you may be this close to losing your temper completely. However, in most cases, they’re just trying to help and just don’t realise that they’re being too pushy. When you feel particularly frustrated, take a deep breath, count to ten and be polite but firm. It helps if you have a dialogue with your spouse about this as well, so that you can present a united front on issues that you agree on.