What to Write in a Thank You Note

The gifts have been unwrapped, and you already wish you were back on honeymoon. Before you settle down into the humdrum normality of everyday life, spare a moment (or more!) to send out a big thank you to your nearest and dearest (and, no, emails don’t count).

Traditional, handwritten thank you notes have been a wedding staple ever since Jane Eyre proclaimed “Reader, I married him!”. In today’s digital world, and with the rise of informality, this might seem a needless act, especially in Malta where you can’t walk to the corner shop without bumping into someone! But everyone loves receiving a letter in the post box: there’s something special about knowing someone took the time out to think of you. So, what should you write?

ADDRESS

The formality of your address depends on your relationship to the guest. This might seem obvious, but thank you notes should be addressed to the person or people who signed your gift card. If they wrote ‘from Joe and Carmen’, then use the same names, and tone, in your letter. Be careful to spell each guest’s name correctly, taking special care to those whom you might not, perhaps, know so well.

MENTION THE GIFT BY NAME

We know most Maltese couples tend to get cash gifts for their weddings. But, this does not mean you cannot refer to it. Yes, it makes it slightly trickier. And, yes, you should avoid mentioning exact amounts. Instead, use words like ‘generous’, ‘thoughtful’ or ‘helpful’. You must not, under any circumstance, express disappointment with the amount of money given to you. It’s uncouth and disrespectful. If you did not receive cash, mention the gift by name. If you plan to change it, don’t indicate as such. The tone should be grateful and warm.

MENTION WHAT YOU’LL DO WITH THE GIFT

While some couples make it clear, prior to the wedding, what they will be doing with the cash gifts they receive, others do not. Whatever you have or have not done, this is the moment to keep your loved ones updated: tell them what you used their presents for. It adds a personal touch and makes your guest feel as if they have participated in your new future together. Tell your guests if you have used the money for something as glamourous as a hot honeymoon, or decided to be sensible and put the money towards house renovations. They will appreciate knowing it was put to good use. But, you don’t need to be so specific if you’ve simply used the money to cover your wedding costs. You don’t want your guests feeling like they’ve only paid for their own meal (even though, that may be the case!)

WRITE FROM THE HEART

There is one reason why pre-printed cards and emails are not acceptable: notes expressing gratitude need to come from the heart. If you’ve taken the time to pen a personalized letter of appreciation, you need to show real feeling. Think about the people you’re writing to. What do they mean to you? How did they make your day special? Mention any help they gave in the run up to, or even on, the Big day. If it’s a relative who travelled from abroad, focus on giving heartfelt thanks for the effort and expense they incurred. For friends and family members whom you might have lost touch with, this might be the opportunity to reconnect and you may also want to mention a future encounter to catch-up on old times.